Building up your child’s self esteem, to us, is one of the most important jobs we have as parents. But we also want to make sure our children treat others as they want to be treated. Other than the obvious “curse” words, there are some other words we don’t want our children to learn. So, how do we keep those negative words from leaving our lips in front of our children?
I’m not gonna lie, I swear like a sailor. My mouth is dirtier than a sewer rat and it always has been. One time, my daughter called my Dad an f***ing moron. Yeah, she did that...and where did she hear that? Oh... from me. Have you driven around the Bay Area?? It’s no wonder she learned that from me with all the crazy drivers.
But here’s the deal. I’d rather she drop an F-bomb occasionally than say the word “hate”. I get that may sound weird, but the horrible depth of the word “hate” is dirtier than any other four letter word to me. Saying hate can obviously be totally harmless, and I’m sure I say it more than I realize (although since having children, I have become acutely aware of that word and when I say it I feel like the worst of the dirty words has slipped out of my mouth). Saying something like “I hate carrots” is so easy, but it’s just as easy to say “I really don’t like carrots”. It’s something I’m trying to integrate into my daily life.
Fat. Oh man. That word is all sorts of messed up. And it’s not because I think of it negatively. I’m carrying around some extra weight, and while I’m trying to lose it, I’m pretty happy with where I’m at. I’ve always had extra weight, and while I’m ok with that, I know society is not. My daughter will NEVER hear me say that word. Ever. I cringe when other people say it around her. Chances are, she’ll get my genes and have a really hard time getting and keeping weight off. But I need her to know, no matter how much weight she gains or loses, she will always be perfect to me and should only surround herself with people who think the same way. Of course I want my daughter to be healthy and we’re all working together as a family to be healthy and my daughter knows what is healthy food, what is not, and how important it is to be active. But fat is a judging word, and I don’t want her to hear that from me.
Ugly is also another judging word I try not to use around my children. They don’t need to know what that means, and they don’t need to hear it from me. They need to know that no matter what someone looks like, as long as they are a good person, it doesn’t matter.
I’m not delusional. I know my kids will learn these words someday. I know I say them occasionally, even if I don’t mean to. But I’m trying my hardest to raise my kids to treat people with the respect they deserve and not to judge people based on what they look like or what is different from us. It’s one of the toughest tasks I have as a parent, but its on of the most important to me.
Teaching our children not to judge others is very important and most children learn by example. If they see us respecting one another by the words we use (or don’t use!), they are sure to learn to do it themselves!
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Are there any words you don’t want your children to hear from you? We’d love to hear from you all! Please share with us in the comments below.
