New grads are stepping out into their futures about now and I’m reminded of a Chicago Tribune columnist who wrote advice to grads in 1997. “Wear sunscreen,” it began. How might she write that column today? Her advice is in bold type, my update follows.
Wear sunscreen. I’d add: moisturize. Why suffer the pain of acid peels or dermabrasion (basically sanding your skin off) when washing your face and using a good moisturizer twice a day will keep your skin youthfully dewy?
Enjoy the power and beauty of youth, but age with grace and style. My update: Yes, you can plump your lips into a duck’s beak, freeze your face motionless and lift until you look like a crazy cat. But believe me, it’s not attractive. Age with grace and class. Think Catherine Deneuve, not Joan Rivers. (And moisturize.)
Find out what's happening in Campbellwith free, real-time updates from Patch.
Don't worry about the future. The real troubles … never crossed your worried mind. While some things are out of your control, plan for what is. Start contributing to a 401K or retirement plan in your first job, even if it’s just a few dollars. You won’t believe how fast 30 years goes. One day, you’ll look up and realize retirement age is near. It will be a great comfort to see a pile of savings in that account.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. I’m always surprised at what people will put up with, and then I remember my own youth. Young women, especially, need to remember that they are deserving of great love and should not settle for less.
Don't waste your time on jealousy… in the end, the race is only with yourself. I’ve known business people so competitive they turned paranoid and divorcees so vitriolic they grew old alone. There’s enough fame, fortune and love to go around, if you choose them.
Find out what's happening in Campbellwith free, real-time updates from Patch.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. And don’t be afraid to eliminate toxic people from your life. There will always be people who do not wish you well, for whatever reason. Despite your best efforts, you will never change them. Wish them well and move on.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. Life is forgiving when you are young, so don’t be afraid to try things on for size. If one doesn’t fit, don’t be afraid to move on.
Get to know your parents. Ask all the questions you can while you still have them, because one day they’ll be gone and you’ll be left wondering about old aunt Ida’s job in New York or how grandpa came through Ellis Island.
Friends come and go, but with a precious few … hold on. Work hard to bridge gaps in geography and lifestyle… the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you … young. I reconnected last week with a friend I hadn’t seen in 20 years. We caught up with ease, she 70 now and I, (ahem) a bit younger. Not everyone will stick with you through the years, changes and moves but those who do are worth their weight in gold.
Travel. If you put off that trip to France, Machu Picchu or the trek in the Himalayas, age and circumstance later may prevent it. Do the things you want to do at any age. A friend focused his life on building financial security and little else. He woke up in his mid-50s and told me: “I regret not living my life all along the way.” Don’t have those regrets.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. It’s nice to have unemployment insurance and families to fall back on, but treat them as emergency fall backs and not a way of life. Making your own way in the world builds character.
Floss. Don’t believe anyone who tells you the miracle of dental implants is an easy route. Friends who have done this have one word of advice: Floss. A few seconds every morning can save the agony and expense of oral surgery down the line. This is better life advice than it seems.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. People who offer advice mean well. Don’t blindly take anyone’s counsel, (even mine) but do ask for it, listen and take from it the nuggets you find useful.
What advice would you give new graduates?
Here’s the original column.
Carol blogs daily at www.middle-aged-diva.blogspot.com
The opinions expressed here are the blogger's and not necessarily those of the local editor's or anyone affiliated with Patch.
