Keeping Mommy Guilt in Check

Social media is a double-edge sword. What do you do to keep from letting Mommy Guilt get you down?


In the exciting days of Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram and other social media outlets, keeping in contact with family and friends near and far has become so much easier. But it can also make being a parent increasingly difficult. Sometimes it can make you feel like you’re not doing enough. The Mom Squad is here to tell you that you’re doing just fine just being you!

Being a parent is exhausting, there is no two ways about it. Working mom, Stay at Home Mom, Mom with help ... ALL exhausting. Some days I wake up in the morning and laying in bed I can’t wait until bedtime. I think MOST Moms feel this way at some point or another, but these days, just try to get someone to actually say it.

Of course our children are a blessing, of course I love my kids more than anything and would lay down my own life for theirs without a bat of an eyelash, but that does NOT mean I don’t get exhausted, sick, and frustrated with the day to day existence of being a Stay at Home Mom. And I’ll tell you what, I feel guilty ALL the time for that. CONSTANTLY.

We are so lucky to be living in the days of Facebook and Pinterest. We get to keep in touch with family and friends that are far away. I get to post cute messages to my in-laws who live in New York, I get to tell everyone (who cares that is) the ridiculous things my kids say and do and I get to keep a running commentary on my daily life and on hard days I can look back and see how hilarious my life can be.

I love looking at Pinterest to find new things to do with my kids because while I let them watch TV, I don’t want them doing it ALL day and I can’t always think of 100 things for them to do, I’m just not that creative. It’s a pretty awesome way to find educational and fun things to do with my kids.

But there is a big flip side to that, I’m constantly accosted with images from Mom’s who do it all. Mom’s who make their kids Bento box lunches with veggies in the shapes of animals or Mom’s who are capable of keeping their kids alive and make fancy lamps with their kids old clothes after they go to bed. Do you know what I do when my kids go to bed? I watch TV. Yup. I sit my butt on the couch with my husband and we watch TV. For TWO hours. That’s what I do. I’m just not physically able to do anything else but veg and be with my husband.

Secretly, I wish I was one of those Moms who wake up, throw on a cute outfit and look impossibly fresh, make their kids an incredible breakfast, do incredibly creative things with them, not let the TV babysit them occasionally, make a fabulous dinner for my family, put the kids down and then work on some fantastic project after bedtime all while making sure my house is immaculate. But I’m not.

I wake up in the morning looking vaguely like My Pet Monster, throw some yogurt and fruit in a bowl for my kids, hopefully make it out of the house without stains on my pants, take my kids to the park so I can sit on a bench with my friends and bitch about life, come home and WILL my kids take a nap, get them up and lay on the floor playing with them until my husband gets home, make dinner out of the wilted lettuce leaf and questionable cheese in the fridge, get my kids to sleep and then stare at the pile of laundry I know will not get folded. This is real. This is me.

I know not every Mom is like me and I’m thankful for Mom’s who do it all because I aspire to be that way. But I want Mom’s who are like me to know ... it’s ok. It’s ok to not be perfect. It’s ok because we love our children and I would rather just veg out with my kids these days than anything else even if the house and my hair are a mess. My kids love me even if I don’t make their sandwiches into a Disney character. They love when I play with their hair before bed, or sit on the floor with them while they play legos, or take them in the backyard and just be with them.

I may not be perfect. I may not be able to fold my kids towel into the shape of an elephant before bath  time, but I think they’ll live if I don’t. They are smart, funny, cool kids and I love them. That’s all that matters to me. I need to let the guilt go, there is no room for it in my life, and I think you should too.

We all love our kids and we all do it in different ways, and while some Mom’s are better at doing it all than us, we know we’re doing just fine!

You can also check out the Campbell Patch Mom Squad on Facebook or Twitter! We share our articles, community events, thoughts on parenting, parent related current events, and more.

We also welcome your comments, suggestions, and questions anytime!

Clemy Lambert January 08, 2013 at 02:56 AM
barely able to keep my head above water lately ...:'-( thank you for this article Nicole,i loved it!
Nicole Salacain January 08, 2013 at 02:59 AM
I'm glad it helped Clemy! We know how hard it is! You're doing great :)
MomSquad January 08, 2013 at 05:26 AM
Mom Squad friend Amy S. had this to say on our Facebook page: This is a great article! It is so true that we put so much pressure on ourselves. Some days are harder than others but I am always grateful for my non-judgemental mama friends that totally get what I go through because they have either experienced it or simply understand the unknowns of parenthood!


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