Impressionable Minds: How to Talk With Your Children About the Japan Earthquake

The images shown in the round-the-clock coverage of the magnitude-8.9 earthquake and subsequent 13-foot tsunami that ravaged Japan on March 11 can be scary for a child.

The stories of villages destroyed, lives lost and the potential for a nuclear disaster are prompting big questions from little kids, concerned that the same thing could happen here.

Campbell Patch asked some local experts how to talk with your children about the disaster and how to make them feel safe as they witness its aftermath.

The information needs to be age appropriate

The level of information needs to be based on your child’s ability to process, according to Amy Hublou, therapist, parent coach and founder of Gallop Ventures in Woodside.

“You need to speak with kids on their level," she said. "With younger kids, you need to be very general, and with older kids, you need to answer their questions and make sure they have the correct information. Ask them what they know and what they’ve been told, correct the misinformation and remind them that the information might change.”

Limit media exposure

Cupertino Dr. Lorraine Hutchinson, marriage-family therapist, suggests limiting media exposure, so that children aren’t seeing too much of the devastation in Japan. Do not expose children to the images, and limit the stories they hear about on news broadcasts.

“These images can be overwhelming for a child, so limit as much of the visual picture as possible,” she said.

Limiting adult content can also be a good thing for parents, too, according to Hublou.

“Kids respond more to our reactions as parents than they do to the news itself, because they do not have the ability to process it," she said. "They look to us and they process a lot of reactions that way, which is why we need to find an appropriate place to release our own concerns.”

Be direct and honest, and speak in basic terms

Listen to your child and answer questions in a very straightforward and factual matter, says Palo Alto therapist Karin Chandler.

“Keep it in simple, straight-forward terms," Chandler said. "If you’re talking about the earthquake, err on the side of nature. Talk about how dynamic our world is and how the water and earth move. It’s a very natural thing and they can understand it that way. With small children I would avoid the social aspects of it all, the deaths and destruction.”

Make them feel secure

Talk with your children about what earthquake are. Reassure them that mom and dad are here to make sure they are safe.
Have your children help assemble an earthquake-preparedness kit. Show them exactly what things will be used for in the event of an earthquake here

“Have it make sense to them,” said Hutchinson. “Tell them about how we take precautions for things so we are safe if they happen. Like fire extinguishers, we have them so that if a fire breaks out, we can use it to put the fire out.”

Use facts to teach children

“Don’t lie," said Dr. Melissa Sorci, a Campbell licensed clinical psychologist. "At the end of the day, they are going to find out that there was a tragedy in Japan. Stick to the facts as they are developmentally appropriate. Show them where Japan is; it will show them how far apart our countries are, and that there are differences in the land. Teach them that all regions have different kinds of threats.”

Listen and acknowledge their fears

Many times, the fears that children have are directly linked with their ages and stages, says Sorci.

For instance, a 2-year-old might have heard of the lights being going out, and that is their appropriate developmental fear.

“What they’re really afraid of is the dark, not the earthquake and tsunami, so maybe that child just needs to be educated on fear of the dark,” she said. "All kids want to feel is safe."

Do not try to redirect children if they ask pointed questions about the earthquake, warns Hutchinson.

“If you avoid questions or try to put it off, then it scares them more, like you are hiding something," she said. “Unfortunately, our kids have to learn about the bad things that happen, but they are survivable, and it’s our job as parents to help them understand that.”

Encourage them to help in the recovery effort

Even if it's writing letters to children abroad or holding a school-wide bake sale to raise money in the effort, kids love to feel as though they are making a difference.

“Write letters to the Red Cross, find websites to donate goods, let children help so they do not feel powerless and helpless,” said Hutchinson. This teaches empathy and compassion, she said.

Pay close attention to any behavioral changes

Be sure to watch your children closely, adds Hublou.

“Kids respond to our reactions, and they pick up on stress, anxiety, concerns or sadness, and this could manifest itself in them, too," she said. "They all of a sudden might not want to go to school or might have a meltdown ... It could be their manifestation of the stress that’s around them right now.”

When your child is having a meltdown, be sensitive to it, because it could be their way of releasing their stress. Provide them with a lot of reassurance and that they’re OK and you are taking care of them.