The Mom Squad discusses what our children use to comfort themselves. How we introduced them, how attached they are, and if we have plans to take them away.
Bethany:
We have never offered a pacifier to either of our kids. My husband and I agreed that they just weren’t for us. Neither of us have a problem with them per say, they just aren’t for us.
Claire started sucking her fingers when she was about 4 months old. For some reason, she sucked the middle two fingers, which is exactly what my sister used to do. We never really thought much about it being a problem and eventually she just stopped on her own before too long.
She never really had a favorite snuggle toy, but we had a teddy bear in her crib with her in the hopes that she would. When she got to be about 2 years old, she would request certain soft toys to take to bed with her. The problem was that she would want one toy for a few weeks and then she would want to add another toy to that one. After a while she would have SO many toys that we would have to take them out and start all over. She still likes certain toys to be in the bed, but we’ve narrowed it down to a select few. The select few are still quite a lot, but they are small and they make her happy so it’s just not worth a battle. They include: “Baby”, “Red Puppy”, “Mr. Turtle”, “Puppy”, “Po-Bear”, and “Bunny” (all named by her, of course).
Joe-Joe started sucking his thumb when he was about 4 months old too. That didn’t last long for him either though. He gave it up before his first birthday just as Claire had given up sucking her fingers. We had a stuffed toy elephant in his bed since he was born. It has a pull-string and plays a lullaby, but he was never really that into it. Sometime after his first birthday he developed an attachment to it though. Suddenly he would immediately snuggle the elephant when he was put into bed. He would actually dive into his crib and bury his face in the elephant and basically sleep on top of it, hugging it with his whole body. It’s something he still does to this day.
Shortly after his birthday we went to Ikea to get a birthday gift and a few other items. I love their kid’s section and how all the toys are accessible for the kids to play with. So, we were strolling around checking out all the fun toys when Joe-Joe spotted a stuffed dog. He ran up to it and grabbed it in a huge hug saying, “Oh dog, oh dog ...” It was just so cute, that I let him keep it while we were in the store. I never intended for him to go home with it, but he loved it so much that I couldn’t resist so I bought it. So now “Dog” has joined “Eh-fant” in his nightly dive and snuggle ritual.
He has a very special bond with both, but he definitely favors “Eh-fant”. So one night when there was a vomit incident and I had to put it in the wash, poor Joe-Joe had a complete meltdown. I decided right then that the next day my mission was to find another one for back-up! I scoured the internet only to learn the the particular elephant toy had been discontinued and was no longer available anywhere. My next stop was Ebay, and boy did I luck out! I found the exact one for sale from another Mom. I explained my need of the special elephant when I purchased it, and she shipped it immediately. One Mom far away helping out another. It was pretty awesome, and the timing was perfect! That night we had another “incident” and my little guy didn’t have to go without his special buddy!
I don’t see anything wrong with kids having a special cuddle toy, sucking their thumb, or whatever else they need to do to comfort themselves. I myself used to suck my thumb and had a special bunny blanket, so I think that helps me to understand how much it means to them. They will give them up when they are ready to. There’s no sense in rushing the innocent little parts of childhood like this.
Nicole:
When we sleep trained Evie, the person who helped us (kindly referred to as the “sleep Nazi”) has us kind of go cold turkey on the binky, which really freaked me out at first. Its seemed like such a big deal as she took so much comfort in not only sucking it but playing with it. Instead, she told us to use something she could snuggle, something that would only be in her crib for comfort. At Christmas, my husband had bought her a cute little blanket bear that seemed to be the perfect size and softness. The only problem was it had a crinkle in the face that I was afraid would distract her or wake her up, so I cut it out! It was the perfect bear.
Fast forward to now. My daughters “B” is her best friend. We have purchased six of them over the years in case heaven forbid she loses him (which she has once and I was at my parents and I made my Dad drive around scouring the neighborhood for it and thankfully he was found on a curb!). Unfortunately, now the only one she wants is the very first B we gave her which is strangely called New B even though it’s the oldest. I’m pretty sure she loves that bear more than me, and I’m ok with that. He gives her comfort when she’s scared, hurt, bored, anything. Part of me is scared that one day we may lose him and we’ll have a serious crisis on our hand, but the other part of me loves that she finds comfort in something so simple, especially since we took the binky away from her and she never really took to her thumb.
When we sleep trained our son, we used the same method we did for Evie. Knowing we’d probably do this, I bought a little blanket dog similar to Evie’s. We tried sleep training once and he wasn’t having it, so we stopped and tried again a month later, in which he cried once and that was it! He’s been the best little sleeper ever. But that first attempt had him finding his thumb since we took the binky away.
At first, his thumb gave him much more comfort than his dog (which had several names before Milo named him “DogDog” himself). Slowly but surely, he began to take comfort in his DogDog. We originally had four, lost two, and then bought two more ... somehow we now have three and I’m not really sure why. Either way, he loves them so much! Whenever he gets hurt or sleepy he says “DogDog....” and he is so comforted by him. Along with his thumb!
Now, I know there are a lot of conflicting opinions out there about thumb sucking and pacifiers and honestly, I’ve never listened to a single one. I was a thumb sucker until I was 11 years old and there was nothing my parents did that would make me stop. Being that I had that experience makes me a little more understanding to the comfort it gives my child and the knowledge that he will not be 25 years old and sucking his thumb. There will come a time when he realizes he doesn’t want to do it anymore and I’m ok with that too.
As parents, we just want our children to feel safe and comfortable, even if we’re not there. It’s nice to be able to give my children their B and DogDog knowing they’ll take comfort in them if they are feeling scared. They’re only going to be babies for such a little amount of time, it’s the simple things like this that make my heart melt.
Everyone has differing opinions on security toys, how to use them, when to take them away, etc. You have to do what you feel is right for your child!
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Did your kids use a security or a comfort toy, blanket, or other item? We’d love to hear from you all! Please share with us in the comments below.
